Victoria Onken

Hi, I’m Victoria Onken. I’m a relationship coach based in Amsterdam, working with individuals and couples navigating relationship change. I specialize in ethical non-monogamy, desire asymmetry, jealousy, and moments when long-term agreements no longer feel aligned.

Many of my clients come to me when they feel overwhelmed, stuck in repetitive conflict, or unsure how to have difficult conversations without damaging trust. I help them slow down, clarify what they want, and move through relational uncertainty with emotional steadiness rather than panic.

My approach is reflective, grounded, and non-ideological. I work with thoughtful adults who value nuance and want to approach love, autonomy, and change with integrity rather than urgency.