Eileen Chao

You've done therapy. You've read the books. And yet in actual intimate moments, something still doesn't connect. What brings people to me varies. Sexual pain. A long pattern of shutting down. The sense that desire is there somewhere, but inaccessible. Understanding a pattern and changing it are two different things.

I am a sex and relationship coach and surrogate partner with over a decade of experience, and I offer something rare — as your practice partner, I step into the relational dynamic with you directly, so change isn't just understood. It's felt. That's what creates lasting shifts. My presence is warm and grounded, with room for honesty and humor.

My approach experiential and relational. The work is done in real time. We pay attention to what’s happening between us and inside you. We bring gentle attention to your patterns and explore what other choices might be available. You get to experiment with responding differently, in the moment.

If you've spent years understanding yourself and still feel like something is missing in intimate moments — that's not a personal failing. It's often just a pattern the body learned. Those patterns can shift. If any of this sounds familiar, I'd love to hear from you. I am available in person in San Francisco CA, over telehealth, and have a hybrid model to fit your life.

I have been featured in the New York Times and Harper's Bazaar, and outside of one on one work with clients I also train and mentor upcoming surrogate partners with the Surrogate Partner Collective.